I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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