I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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