5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
