I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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