will power is for people who don't want to get laid
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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