So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
