The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
