he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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