another moral hangover. fuck.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
