how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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