You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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