I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
