Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
