I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
