i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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