What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
