***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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