Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
