I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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