google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
