You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
