He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
