what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
