Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize