I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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