He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
