all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
