Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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