I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
