so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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