if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
