wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
