The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
