Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
