you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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