I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
