He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize