He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize