My nipple is on Facebook.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize