Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Success! We fucked roommates!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
