so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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