He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
