So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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