We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Houston, we have a blender
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
