For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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