giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
