Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself

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  (248): At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself http://tfl.nu/n1ex
  Replies (1) Good night (1414) Bad night (729)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

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  (801): My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv http://tfl.nu/1bcq
  Replies (39) Good night (1484) Bad night (4475)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.

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  (203): she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously. http://tfl.nu/54qd
  Replies (29) Good night (696) Bad night (5944)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.

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  (717): Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something. http://tfl.nu/o9mn
  Replies (11) Good night (3690) Bad night (981)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.

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  (214): i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night. http://tfl.nu/pbft
  Replies (12) Good night (1093) Bad night (7919)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.

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  (210): I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high. http://tfl.nu/oo1s
  Replies (16) Good night (3165) Bad night (1029)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us

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  (715): You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us http://tfl.nu/z8w6
  Replies (9) Good night (3281) Bad night (1060)
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  (510): View more from California

  I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.

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  (510): I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass. http://tfl.nu/spz3
  Replies (24) Good night (6775) Bad night (1545)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.

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  (732): I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid. http://tfl.nu/5186
  Replies (4) Good night (2802) Bad night (896)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.

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  (815): I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her. http://tfl.nu/4xcm
  Replies (5) Good night (938) Bad night (603)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.

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  (978): We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment. http://tfl.nu/8gpy
  Replies (8) Good night (2221) Bad night (469)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.

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  (601): I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago. http://tfl.nu/p44l
  Replies (4) Good night (748) Bad night (320)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.

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  (956): He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex. http://tfl.nu/esb3
  Replies (5) Good night (339) Bad night (700)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.

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  (316): You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off. http://tfl.nu/rf92
  Replies (4) Good night (349) Bad night (779)
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  (347): View more from New York

  ....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....

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  (347): ....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat.... http://tfl.nu/8yb6
  Replies (4) Good night (328) Bad night (634)

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