Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.