So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus