That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.