saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
