Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this boner is exhausting
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...