Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
