She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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