I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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