Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
