He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
