you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
