He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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