He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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