the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
