Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
