No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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