Did you just see the Batmobile???
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize