Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize