I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
This house was built for laser tag.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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