why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
