Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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