Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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